


Do It For The Vine

by ifdragonscouldtalk



Series: Tumblr Prompts/Drabbles [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Thor Is Not Stupid, tony is worthy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 09:30:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11529456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifdragonscouldtalk/pseuds/ifdragonscouldtalk
Summary: When Thor gets a Vine, shenanigans ensue. Inspired by thealextheshipper. Originally posted to tumblr.





	1. Stop, Hammer Time

No one knew exactly how Thor had discovered Vine. It wasn’t that he was stupid with technology, he actually caught on quickly, but Natasha had expressly forbade Clint from introducing him to the platform and Tony surely hadn’t done it. Jane had probably sent him something she thought was funny, but that wasn’t the point.

Thor’s account was quickly becoming the hottest new thing on the internet. His username was the_mightiest_hammer, no surprise there, and someone (see: Tony Stark) had introduced him to the “Stop, hammer time” meme, so now whenever he couldn’t come up with a caption that was his go-to.

Most of the Vines were of the Avengers messing around and being normal, a side which most people didn’t get to see. By far the most viewed Vine was the one where Thor accidentally captured Steve gesticulating wildly while talking and managing to fling his phone across the room, effectively smashing it, before the camera turned back on Steve’s shocked grimace. All Thor commented on it was “Tony was angry”. The second most viewed was of Tony talking on his ear piece, saying “No, I’ve got this under control-” before being cut off by Clint stumbling backwards across the shot, shouting “Nat- Nat no! NAT!” A perfectly placed roundhouse kick sent Clint sprawling to the floor and out of frame as Natasha stalked across, Tony still staring in the background. There was a second of Clint shouting off screen and Tony whispering “Holy shit” before the video ended. The comment on that one was also “Tony was angry,” unsurprisingly.

After a few months a pattern developed. Every few weeks or so Thor would decide to prank the others by handing them Mjolnir while they weren’t looking. The first to suffer this fate was Clint. The archer was deeply engrossed in a videogame when Thor approached him and asked “Friend, can you hold this for me?” Clint didn’t look up, simply holding out his hand, and only seemed to realize what he was being handed when he dropped like a stone off the couch, pulled down by his grip on Mjolnir’s handle. It cut to the floor, Thor’s laughter easily heard as well as the sound of Clint shouting “MY WRIST! I BROKE MY WRIST!” and Natasha responding “You’re fine, it’s not even sprained, don’t be a baby.”

Next was Steve, a little over a month later. He was in the training room, punching the shit out of a punching bag, when Thor walked up, booming “Captain! May you hold this for me?” Steve threw a few more punches, responding with a kind “Sure,” and realizing too late what he was being handed when he turned with his hand outstretched and crumpled to the ground. “Shit! Thor!”

Natasha was next. They were preparing for a mission when Thor approached her. “Lady Widow! Could you hold this for a moment?” She nodded, glancing at him, and some people pointed out she probably knew what was going to happen. That didn’t change the fact that when she was handed Mjolnir and her arm dropped like an anchor she executed a perfect flip over the hammer and landed in a crouch, shaking her head. “You’ve got to stop that Thor.” Clint and Tony were clapping in the background.

Bruce was a month or two after Natasha. He was clearly on a lab binge, his shirt wrinkled and his hair sticking up in all directions, when Thor approached. “My friend, I have something for you!” Bruce stuck out a hand without even looking up from what he was doing, and crumpled with Mjolnir to the floor like he was boneless. Bruce stood and stared at Mjolnir for a moment before looking up at Thor and saying “I can’t believe you’ve done this.”

Tony was last. It was a month and a half after Bruce, and Thor caught him in the kitchen fumbling with the coffee maker after an all nighter. He was downing his first cup of caffeine when Thor boomed “Anthony! I have a gift for you!” Tony didn’t even glance up, continuing to swallow his coffee, just held out his hand for whatever it was. Thor handed Mjolnir over eagerly, and went silent when Tony simply continued to drink his life-blood, Mjolnir hanging at his side. A second cup of coffee was poured and drunk without glancing at whatever was in his hand, and somewhere behind Thor Clint went “What the fuck.” There was a follow up Vine with nothing really discernible except a lot of screaming.

When, a few months later,  ****Thor was downed in battle and Tony, who had been out with the Asgardian without his armor, picked Mjolnir up and started smashing shit, no one was really surprised.


	2. Tony Was Angry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Honestly if I could just get a list of vines titled “Tony was angry” please  
> Like think of all those compilations people make of them, and then when Vine is shut down someone makes “THE ULTIMATE TONY WAS ANGRY VINE COMPILATION” and it’s one of the most viewed videos. But here’s the thing: So many times Tony isn’t even in the Vine, he learns about these things after the fact, typically by finding the aftermath, and WHY IS YOUR PHONE FUCKING SNAPPED IN HALF?! WHY IS THERE A DENT IN MY WALL?! WHAT HAVE YOU FUCKING DONE TO MY CAR?! I DON’T CARE IF I CAN BUY ANOTHER ONE THAT WAS A PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL TOASTER!  
> And somehow, someone posts “THE ULTIMATE TONY WAS ANGRY VINE COMPILATION 2.0″ and they’ve posted Tony’s reactions to each and every Vine he wasn’t in. There’s a lot of yelling and the Avengers looking contrite. Everyone’s favorite is when Natasha was clearly being a troll but Tony is yelling at her and she looks horrified because “YOU COULD HAVE HURT SOMEONE’S FEELINGS WITH THIS NATASHA AND HEARTS ARE MORE DELICATE THAN BONES!!!!” (”Hearts are more delicate than bones” starts showing up on shirts and Tony is PERPLEXED “what is even happening, who said that? Was it Cher? I bet it was Cher.” He was so mad he doesn’t even remember what he said.)  
> ((It was JARVIS. JARVIS posted the ultimate Tony was angry vine compilation 2.0.))" from tumblr user reioka

When Vine died, everyone thought it was over. Thor had his fun, now it was back to the Avengers being untouchable idols. And boy, were they wrong. If anything, it got worse.

Someone (it was definitely Jane and Darcy this time) introduced him to Twitter. Thor loved twitter. He could tweet funny things that happened even if he didn’t have video, and videos could be longer. His Twitter handle was identical to his Vine one with a bio reading “Hearts are more delicate than bones”, so he wasn’t hard to find, particularly after Steve (who ran a very successful and very politically charged Twitter) retweeted one of his videos. Said video in particular was of Tony shouting in his lab: “Jesus CHRIST Butterfingers, how many fucking TIMES are you going to hit me in the head with that thing!” Before a large bouncy ball sailed through the air and hit Tony right between the eyes, making him scream in frustration. “The only time you have aim! THE ONLY TIME! Useless piece of junk!” Steve’s comment only added to the comedy as he said, “So that’s where I left my bouncy ball.”

People loved it, they ate up Thor’s tweets like they were candy. Somehow, videos transformed from random Avengers shots and pranks to Tony Stark. And the public adored it.

Honestly it was incredible Tony never found out. Part of it probably had to do with the fact that Tony didn’t have a Twitter, in the sense that he had a Twitter which was run by JARVIS and Pepper and was used to tweet niceties at powerful people. But considering how often the videos ended up on E! or other trash news networks, it was still a bit of a miracle that Tony seemed somehow unaware of how popular he had become. When asked about it, Natasha tweeted back that Tony didn’t watch the news, he made the news.

Tony was very confused as to where the “Iron Man doesn’t watch the news, he makes the news” shirts had come from. Probably SHIELD PR, or something.

In the end, the whole team got in on it. One of the most popular was a video from Bruce. The comment read “36 hour lab binge,” which gave just enough context as to why Bruce couldn’t stop giggling in the background and Tony was doing what he was doing to make it understandable.

Thor had walked into the lab, asking “Friends! Have you seen Mjolnir?” before cutting off abruptly. Bruce sounded like he was sobbing in laughter, the camera shaking. “ANTHONY!” Thor boomed. “That is not proper use for Mjolnir! She will be angry!” Tony looked up from where he was hammering a metal something into a metal something else, looking only slightly better than death warmed over.

“Wha?” he asked very eloquently, before looking down at the hammer in his hands. “Oh, God damn it! DUM-E, you piece of crap, I’m sending you back to MIT!” The robot twirled, beeping happily. “No, that’s not something to be happy about, you bucket of scrap!!”

Another popular one was from Clint. He was clearly peering around the doorway to the kitchen. Rhodey and Tony were standing by the elevator, talking lowly about something. “Kiss,” Clint was hissing. “Kiss!” Tony looked at him with blank eyes, his face expressionless.

“You’re dead to me,” he said emotionlessly, even as Rhodey smirked and leaned over to press a kiss to the genius’s cheek. Tony frowned and stamped his foot. “Dammit Rhodey-bear, you’re not supposed to undermine me around the children!”

“They’re married,” was all any of the Avengers had to say, no matter what prying questions they got.

The crowd favorite, however, was another from Thor. It was a short video, and had no comment or introduction to it. It was simply Tony holding a blowtorch and a repulsor, goggles and an insane grin on his face as he shot a truly incredible wave of fire from the blowtorch using the repulsor. Clint was actually screaming in the background, Steve clearly audible shouting “STOP! YOU BETTER STOP!” as Bruce put on his own goggles and repulsor. It became a GIF, and JARVIS changed Tony’s profile picture to his maniacal grin with his face lit up by fire.

Slap cam also became popular, mostly because people enjoyed watching Thor clap Steve on the shoulder hard enough to buckle his knees. Clint attempted it once with Natasha, while she was in the kitchen. She calmly turned around, fingering the blade of a large knife to check its sharpness, and muttered “I hope you do.” Clint didn’t tweet for a week, but it was probably for dramatic effect. Probably.


End file.
